The 1st Annual Coaches Poll Olympics

Let me preface this post by saying that I do not think something like this is more of an atrocity or more of a problem than the types of issues this world faces on a daily basis.  Or more of a problem than what happened today in Connecticut, which was flat out horrific.  This is just a good way to take my mind, and perhaps your mind off, stuff like that and give myself a solid break from the real problems in the world.  Yes, these polls are bad, but there are worse things in life than bad things happening in sports.

I wish I could do this throughout the year, but the Coaches Poll isn’t made public until the final week of the regular season.  So here it goes, if you want to see all of the coaches ballots they’re on pollspeak.com.  You can tell that looking through these polls that these coaches just check boxscores, and that they have hidden agendas.  There is no way that these coaches can all honestly think that these teams are ranked this way.  They know that their vote counts in the BCS poll and it looks as though some coaches were helping Northern Illinois get into the Top 15.  It’s just sad, it’s like there is no integrity anymore, everyone has their own agenda.  I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t do the same thing, but I’d keep it pretty damn honest.

This Poll was the toughest to evaluate.  There are plenty deserving of recognition, so instead of merely awarding the top three with medals, I had to throw in a 4th and 5th place.  These coaches were just as bad as the Media.  Which shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone, because in 1997, Michigan won the National Championship in the AP Poll, but the Coaches Poll gave it to Nebraska.  And everyone with a pair of eyes know that Michigan, with the legendary Charles Woodson leading the defense, would have curb stomped every squad out there give the opportunity.

(Quick Note: Ohio State is not eligible to be ranked in the Coaches Poll because of their probation.)

5th place: Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State Bulldogs

Coach DeRuyter’s Top 10 is decent, obviously aside from having Oregon ahead of Alabama, and Texas A&M is just a bit high at #6.  The real flaws are when we hit Oregon State at #12, Northern Illinois at #18, his own team at #19, Utah State at #20, San Diego State at #21 and San Jose State at #23.  Nothing like helping out the other non-AQ teams in your regional area.  It’s not atrocious, at least not compared to some of the others up next, but I wish the coaches had to submit their reason for ranking teams the way they did.  Give them some sort of accountability, explain your poll.

4th place: Rocky Long, San Diego State Aztecs

Rocky Long, Brady Hoke’s replacement at SDSU, obviously does not think very highly of his predecessor or his current team.  Not to mention the fact that he enjoys throwing his own team a few bones.  SDSU at #20? Yeah right.  Oregon State #12, Northern Illinois #15, Fresno State #16, Kent State #18, San Jose State #19, Utah State #22, Tulsa #25.  I mean honestly.  Just keep ranking the non-AQ team’s higher for no reason whatsoever.  This was Rocky Long trying to improve his own “strength of schedule” and trying to help himself in recruiting.  At least, that’s the only thing I can think of that would justify these preposterous rankings.

Bronze Medal: Bob Stoops, Oklahoma Sooners

Nothing like helping out yourself and the Big 12 conference champion.  Kansas State #3 and Oklahoma #6?  Oklahoma #6.  Is this a joke?  Way to give yourself a lot of credit, 10-2 with an OT win over Oklahoma State doesn’t exactly scream Top 10 Bobby.

LSU at #11 and Nebraska at #15 are also horrible.  And you know EXACTLY why he did it.  He put LSU lower to help his squad out, and he put Nebraska in a grossly overrated position, despite getting housed by Wisconsin to help his team get a BCS At-Large bid.  It’s the same reason that he put Louisville, the Big East champ, ahead of Northern Illinois at #24.  I’m not saying that Northern Illinois should be rated higher, because they shouldn’t rated at all, but it’s comical to see how he drew up his poll to try and help himself and his team out.  Not that I fault him for it.  I’d probably do the same if I was trying to get into a BCS and get myself a bigger bonus.

Louisville at #18 and Rutgers at #19 is pathetic, same with UCLA at #14 and the teams he tacked on #23-25.  I mean why even bother, it’s pretty obvious what you’re doing, so why not remove them altogether, it’s how I would have done it and did do it.  Those teams are awful and shouldn’t be rated, so why try to make it look less scummy by throwing them in there?  “Big Game Bob” tried to hook himself up with a BCS bid by fixing his poll up quite nicely.

Silver Medal: George O’Leary, Central Florida Knights

Honestly?  Screw this guy.  Northern Illinois at #11??  What an absolute sham.  Did he watch a football game this year?  He can’t justify this poll in any way, shape or form.  A team that lost to IOWA should NOT be ranked.  I don’t know how much clearer I can make it.

Then to make things worse, O’Leary tries to hook his non-AQ boys up.  Boise State #15, Utah State #18, San Jose State #21, Tulsa #22, Arkansas State #23, Fresno State #24?  I mean, are you fucking me?  How can you honestly think to yourself that these teams would beat Michigan and have Michigan ranked lower?  Because they have a better record than Michigan?  I would love to have 15 minutes with this guy to interview him and just rip him to shreds.  He can’t justify a single ranking here.  Utah State’s best game?  A loss to Wisconsin by only 3 points.  Congrats.

What is wrong with him?  Did this guy sustain 25 concussions prior to coaching football?  Why on earth is he allowed to coach a football team?  I’m glad you guys are so curious; here are the VITAL facts you need to know about George O’Leary, because it explains a lot, the dude is a complete scumbag.

First of all, he makes $1.4 Million a year, and he used to be the defensive coordinator for the Minnesota Vikings; grossly overpaid.  He’s been coaching at UCF since 2004, and it came out this summer that there were recruiting violations.  The NCAA imposed a one-year postseason football ban for the 2012 season, in addition to a $50,000 fine, five years’ probation, reduction of football scholarships, and has limited recruiting visits.  Good start for George.

Secondly, this guy was hired to coach Notre Dame in 2001, BUT was subsequently FIRED before ever coaching a game because he LIED on his resume (Tyrone Willingham replaced him, nice coaching search ND…jackasses).  How much of a scumbag are you George?  He said he played three years of football at New Hampshire, and UNH said they have no records of him playing a single game.  He also claimed to have gotten a Master’s degree from some gongshow SUNY school, but never graduated.  Nothing like padding your resume to get a coaching job that you are completely under-qualified for.  This guy is the epitome of scum in the coaching world.  How anyone decides to go play for him is beyond me.

His career record is 59-55, but all you need to know is this guy is a cheater, and a liar.  Good thing his vote counts in the BCS Standings.

Gold Medal: James Franklin, Vanderbilt Commodores

As far as I know, James isn’t as bad of a person as George O’Leary.  But, can you say holy SEC bias?  I mean my God.  I respect him for hosing Notre Dame, but at this point, Notre Dame deserves a shot.  6 of his Top 8 are SEC teams, I mean, that seems a bit excessive, especially when you consider where they are ranked in the poll.

Boise State at #14 is another grossly overrated team, and then lo and behold, here comes his Vanderbilt Commodores at #16.  Easy there buddy.  I know you had a decent year, but seriously?  Then tacking on Mississippi State at #21?  Good lord.

I don’t think that Franklin’s poll is that much worse than the other four that are here, but it was the biggest batch of conference bias I have ever seen in someone’s poll ever and I had to give him the nod for the worst poll.  8 SEC teams ranked?  And 6 of them in the Top 8 is utterly ridiculous (4 out of the Top 5).

Now some of you might be wondering how good Brady Hoke’s poll was and I have to say that I thought it was pretty good.  Very respectable.

With the exception of where he put Texas, I don’t have an overt objections to his poll.  At least not enough that I feel like complaining about.

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